During the last month of the year, I always ensure that I take the time to reflect on how the year went. Although 2020 definitely wasn’t the year that we had all planned, it’s still vital to look back on what has happened, how we reacted to certain situations,
and what we’re going to change going into the new year.
For me to hold space for myself means creating healthy boundaries, having time for creative and reflective thinking. It means being present with my family and with my emotions. And treating myself with the same curiosity, care, kindness, compassion, and love that I would give to another. It requires me to be self-aware and connected to how I am feeling. To give me permission to feel emotions fully, to be curious about their origin. And definitely the permission to stop, to take the time I need, and to say no.
When you hold space for yourself, you give yourself a place to check-in, see where you are, and adjust. It invites self-awareness, creates space for you to reflect and understand yourself. And if you are like me and your life intention is to support others and make a difference in the world, It’s essential to create this space in your life, space for you and space for others.
How I will hold space for myself in 2021:
1)Adding Self-care
It’s really that simple, you have begun your self-care journey. You see self-care is a way of being, it is a choice we make to be connected to ourselves. To understand our needs without judgement or expectations. To be our own guru, to simply be aware of what we need and meet those needs. It means treating yourself with kindness, care, compassion and self-love.
Take a moment and become present to the needs of your mind and body. What emotions are you feeling? What sensations are you feeling? Name one thing you need that you can give to yourself right now?
When you hold space for yourself, you give yourself a place to check in, see where you are and to adjust. It invites self-awareness, creates space for you to reflect and understand yourself. And if you are like me and your life intention is to support others and make a difference in the world, It’s essential to create this space in your life, space for you and space for others.
2)Accept and love who you are today
When I think about self-love I often think about the roots of a tree, some of them are strong and some fragile. Some are twisted up and complicated and some are gently flowing through the ground below. But the tree is not complete or healthy without acknowledging and supporting all it’s roots. The same is true for us as humans. We all have fears and doubts, things we would like to be that we are not. But we also all have value, ways we shine things we do unlike no other.
A helpful way to change your way of looking in is to re-frame the negative things in to positive things. An example being “I am controlling” to “I have a keen focus on details and like things to be the best they can be”. How we look at ourselves is keenly attached to how well we will care for our self. So take some time to notice what you say to yourself, listen to your self-judgement and recognize that it is not the truth. Find the good in who you are, find the highest intention in your quirks and your ways of being. Accept them and use them for good.
3)Understand your need for boundaries
Have you ever heard that expectations are the root of all disappointment? Take a moment to think back to the last time you felt disappointment and what didn’t happen that you expected? Now take a moment to explore how that expectation was communicated. This exploration can be quite helpful in understand your values, what matters most to you and what needs you needs met. By understanding our needs we are then able to communicate and have good boundaries that allow us to say no without guilt and to set our relationships up for success.
4)It's ok say no without explaining yourself
Have you ever found yourself drowning in things you don’t want to do wishing you could be doing the things you do want to? Getting caught in the pleasing others to be accepted by others cycle can be exhausting. For me this was a big part of my well being and lifestyle changes that invited my health and wellness back. Now I begin with 2 questions before I say yes. 1. How does this connect to my values? 2. If I didn’t do this what would I be able to do?
This way of honoring your values and your capacity allows you to be kind to yourself. To be connected with what you are doing and removes the resentment that often follows saying yes when we should have said no. And then by taking the time to hold space for ourselves to be connected to our tasks and our giving we are able to show up in integrity, do a good job and we also give others the permission through watching our actions to do the same.
5)Be authentic
Be unapologetically you! See yourself for all the amazing uniqueness you are. Stay true to yourself, your dreams your desires. Know your worth, live in your capacity and be there for yourself so you can be there for others.
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