It’s perfectly normal for teens to test the limits—they’re trying to figure out exactly where they fit in the world. Still, you don’t want a troubled teen to go further down a dangerous path, so swift and effective action is sometimes needed. First of all, you’ll need to figure out what they’re dealing with so you can provide intervention. Take them to a therapist and increase the limits and structure in their life. Also, be sure to demonstrate warmth and compassion for a troubled teen, so they know someone is in their corner.
Identify what’s going on.Troubled teens may struggle with a variety of issues, from alcohol and drugs to depression. Observe your teen for a while to see if you can spot the core problem. Having some idea of what’s going on can help guide your intervention efforts.
Common red flags for troubled teens include failing grades, getting into fights or trouble at school, arguing with parents, getting into trouble with the police, and dramatically changing or isolating from their social group.
Have a straightforward talk with your teen.Perhaps your teen knows what the problem is, and they just aren’t sure how to articulate it. Pull them aside for a private conversation, sharing your concerns. Ask them for pointers regarding what's going on and how you might be able to help.
You might say, “I’ve noticed your grades are steadily falling across all your subjects. Tell me what’s going on.”
Quite often, teens feel like they are just told what to do by adults. By having an open conversation beforehand, the teen is more likely to feel like they have a voice. Therefore, they may be on board with any subsequent interventions.
Meet with a Therapist.Set up an appointment for a professional therapist to see your teen. If you have some indicator as to the problem (e.g., self-esteem issues or anxiety), you might search for a therapist who has special experience in this area.
Come prepared to the first session with any supporting evidence you have relating to the problem. This might include school disciplinary forms, academic progress reports, or any records you’ve kept at home of your teen’s moods or problem behavior.
Providing as much info and background as possible helps the therapist clarify the problem and make use of the right interventions.
Encourage health-promoting behaviors at home.Certain lifestyle factors can increase stress and ultimately worsen acting out behaviors in your teen. Commit to making healthy choices in your household, such as eating nutritious food, exercising, and sleeping 8 hours or more nightly.
Limit your teen’s intake of fast food and junk food. Instead, feed them 3 to 4 well-rounded meals that feature fruits, veggies, whole grains, low-fat dairy, and lean sources of protein.
Developing more positive lifestyle behaviors could decrease some of the issues your teen is facing. For instance, a balanced diet and exercise can reduce symptoms of depression or anxiety.
Involve their school.Talk to your teen's teachers or guidance counselor. Doing so can ensure that people at the teen's school are aware of the issues and are on board with your efforts to resolve them.
Staying in close contact with the school can also alert you to any sudden changes in their behavior, such as things getting better or worse.
Make use of community resources.Take advantage of community organizations, church groups, youth groups, and other services that help troubled teens in your area. Such groups have experience working with troubled teens and can offer practical guidance and support.
Reflect on your own actions.
“Too many parents don’t consider how their choices are actually producing their child’s negative behavior,” Grover said. He suggested taking a hard look at yourself and taking full responsibility for the behaviors you’re modeling.
Are you asking your teen to be calm during conversations while you’re usually yelling? Is your teen struggling with a negative body image while you’re criticizing others’ looks? Also, if your child is in therapy, consider if you’re unwittingly stalling their progress.
Parenting a teen can quickly get overwhelming. You might feel anxious, burnt out and maybe even helpless. But there are many things you can do—like starting with the above strategies. And if you need extra support, consider counseling.
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