“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”- Paul Boose
Forgiveness is such a powerful thing. When we hold on to grudges and anger we hold ourself away from our power.
We’ve all been wronged at some point in our lives. No one can say that they’ve not experienced some emotional pain in the past. It hurts. I understand that.
But what you decide to do with all that heartache is more important than the hurt itself. Would you rather get back at the person and make them hurt as you did? Or would you rather let it go and forgive? Obviously, the right thing to do is to forgive and move on. However, most people find that forgiving is not as easy as it sounds. It’s much easier to continue blaming the wrongdoer and hold grudges against them for as long as we can.
The problem is, holding onto the past causes you to relive the pain over and over again. As a result, you get stuck in this angry, accusatory state that hinders you from progressing and succeeding in other aspects of your life. Yes, forgiving someone is very difficult. On the plus side, it will benefit you so much more than the individual who hurt you. So apart from being the reasonable thing to do, forgiving is great for your soul and overall well-being.
Forgiveness is the process of allowing yourself to be at peace with someone that has previously caused you pain. It is the willingness to let go of any negativity you might be holding onto towards yourself or others that previously harmed you in any way, physically or emotionally. Even though the action or words that hurt you will dwell within you forever, the act of letting go reduces the grip that the wounding event has on you. This way, you’ll be able to focus on the more positive aspects of your life.
Forgiving doesn’t mean that you completely forget that you were wronged. After all, it might be months or years before you’re able to forget what you went through.
“Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”Oprah Winfrey
Forgiveness also doesn’t mean that you were wrong and the other person was right. If your friend, family member or colleague did or said something that really hurt you, then they’re at fault. And forgiving them doesn’t change that fact.
How to Forgive?
Start by assessing the situation from a different perspective
Ask yourself what would make that person behave the way they did. Would you have acted in a similar way if you were in their shoes?
Think about those times when you wronged people, and they forgave you
Remind yourself that forgiveness is a process and that even minor wrongs need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.
No one in life is perfect and we all make mistakes, it’s just human nature. And if someone hurts you, intentionally or unintentionally, the most important thing to do is to forgive them. When you take everything personally, it makes it harder to let it go. Think of what might have pushed them to act that way and you might find there’s some underlining issue they’re going through. Yes, it might be easier to cut these people out of your life. But, you won’t be completely free from the resentment and pain until you forgive them. Forgiving means that you’re letting go of the bitterness in your heart and choosing to focus on the greater things in life.
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