Envy may be defined as an emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it."
Envy means discontented longing for someone else's advantages. Jealousy means unpleasant suspicion, or apprehension of rivalship. ...Envy is most often used to refer to a covetous feeling toward another person's attributes, possessions, or stature in life. Many people use jealous to mean the same thing.
Tips on how to deal with envious and jealous people:
1)Steer away from envious people. They will not admit they are envious typically. Steer away from this person. Keep away until they confess and say sorry. If not keep away, you can not afford to keep envious people in your private world. People that envy you are not your friends.
2)Examine the behavior. See the actions, words, etc. Sometimes they may make a facial response, so be alert.
3)If you would like to do something, and they say things like "You can't", "You suck at..." or "You're not going to make it" then those are signs of envy. For example: You would like to sing, and he says you shouldn't because you are a bad singer but others say you have a great voice, something's wrong.
4)Never tell jealous people of your pain, problems and your weaknesses. Jealous people will celebrate any misfortune that comes to you and be comforted by the fact that you are suffering.
Jealous people are opportunistic and may use your pain to propel them to succeed in life or to accomplish some goal that they would otherwise have never found the inspiration and strength within themselves to succeed. Jealous people may also use your pain to demoralise and dishearten you. They will use your pain for their gain!
5)Don’t spur them on by showing your stuff. Never try to prove to them that you are successful. This will only encourage them to get more jealous of you and compete harder against you.
Jealous people never find motivation within; they feel inadequate and have a loser based mentality towards life in general. The key is to keep low in their presence, knowing that they need you and your success to fuel them ahead in life.
6) Jealous people can be very deceptive so don’t trust people that you are unsure of easily. Even if the person you are suspecting of jealousy seems friendly and harmless and supportive of you. This is used by jealous people as a façade, to outsmart you and to make them gain your trust.
7)Don’t associate with jealous people. Physical distance will protect you from the negative energy of jealous people. If you have the unfortunate situation of having them as part of your family or at your work and it’s very difficult to stay away from them completely, then try to limit your exposure around them.
If the problem with this jealous person is very bad try to take an action that will separate you from them. In addition, jealous people are insecure people and need to be close to the person who is the object of their jealousy so that they watch them up close. Protect your boundaries.
8) Don’t ever tell jealous people what goals and plans you are currently working on. Jealous people tend to covet and like to know personal information about you so that they can use you to propel them and be a source of motivation to compete against you.
They may use your information for malicious purposes to try to mock and de-motivate you to give up on your goals. You should never open yourself up to jealous people is because you are at the risk of putting yourself in the centre of a nasty competition.
Most jealousy is rooted in feelings of inadequacy.The person sees something in you or another person that makes them feel that they aren’t as good. It could be real or imagined, but the feelings of inadequacy are projected through negative thoughts or actions. Jealousy emerges as a reaction or solution to those feelings of inadequacy. For example, a woman may be jealous of her friend who makes more money, has a nice car, and designer clothing. Rather than being happy for her friend’s success this woman feels that her income, car, and clothing are inadequate by comparison. She may feel like a failure in life because her success is not even on the same scale as her friend and they graduated at the same time with the same degree.
Instead of dealing with these underlying feelings of inadequacy, the jealousy turns into little digs and insults when they are together. The jealous friend makes comments such as “it must be nice to get a new car every two years” and “wow, that purse must have cost enough to feed a small village for a month”. Those comments that are coming out of jealousy may make the jealous friend feel better momentarily, but they don’t address the underlying feelings of inadequacy and thus the jealousy will continue until the problem is addressed.
Even if the jealous friend begins making more money, or gets a better car and clothing, she will find a new friend to be jealous toward or something else with the existing friend to be jealous about, because the inadequacy is the driving force. Jealousy is a powerful force.
However, there are ways for a person to handle a jealous person that can help disarm a jealous person or prevent oneself from being exposed to jealous comments and actions. There is not a one size fits all solution to dealing with jealousy and hatred. Each situation is unique and needs to be handled accordingly.
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