Sometimes you can feel like everything is falling apart after you break up with someone you loved. Look – there’s no getting past it, breakups suck. They suck hard. There’s not a lot in the realm of relationships that’s crappier than a bad breakup, especially after feeling him withdrawing from you
and not knowing how to stop it.
For whatever reason, your relationship didn’t work out. Whether you put weeks into it or years, you will have come away learning something about yourself. There will have been highs, which by the way are not now just deleted from your story because you’ve broken up, you still own those good times, those happy memories are still yours. There will have been lows, and now rather than looking at them through the rose tinted glasses of someone who wanted to make it work, you can see them as they really were.
So here are Tips on how to survive a break up and stay strong.
1. You Have To Grieve
Cry all you want.Let the tears flow, it's healthy you are releasing grief and pain. You may be afraid to start because you're fearful you'll never stop, but you will.
2.Find emotional support.There are numerous groups for the newly single (more for women than for men). Just don't try to tough it out or go it alone, support from others is healing, even if those people never become close friends.
3.Do something everyday to help yourself heal.Exercise, read, watch some self-help TV, learn to meditate and never underestimate the power of positive prayer. Pick things that you know will be fun or beneficial and do them. Don't wait for the mood to come over you, take one action and then take another.
4. Don't be a doormat.If your soon-to-be-ex continues to call you or simply won't go away (or move out) tell them you can't heal with them around and ask them to keep their distance. If they are harassing or threatening you it is best to call law enforcement for information and advice.
5. Keep busy.If you wake up early take a walk, go out to breakfast or do something around the house. Try a little "retail therapy" (go shopping) or enjoy the decadence of going to a movie in the middle of the day. Many businesses allow their staff to take "mental health days" if needed. If you can't sleep do the crossword puzzle, read or watch TV. Don't sit in your room and ruminate, you have to free your mind so your heart can heal.
6. Don't try to mask your pain by trying to find a replacement.We all know the term "rebound relationship" these happen when we (unconsciously) use another person to fill the gap that's been created by the ending of a relationship. These transitional connections can feel healing in the short term, but if you don't process your pain appropriately you will not be able to be in a fully committed partnership.
7. Don't spend too much time alone.Hang out with friends or make new ones, go to coffee with someone you can talk to, volunteer in your community. You will need time alone, but if you isolate yourself you won't be able to fully process your feelings or get the support you need to heal.
8. Trust your feelings.Even if you were taken by surprise by the breakup, your inner voice is telling you something. Listen carefully and you will hear that it will all be OK. You just have to let your feelings guide you.
9. Take your time.Don't rush out and buy a new car or move to a new home or another town. Major changes like those are merely a way of avoiding your feelings. Believe that with a little time, patience and support you will feel better and find love again.
In summary…
Deal with your grief by not pushing it away and instead accepting it and processing it.
Keep yourself strong by removing chances to contact him and getting rid of things that remind you of him.
Focus on your hobbies and things you like to do to make yourself feel better.
Start to focus on the present and the future rather than the past, and open your heart to other people.
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