Have you ever gotten butterflies at the start of a new romantic relationship because you like the person so much you just don't want to mess it up? You're not alone in that new relationship anxiety. "A new relationship is full of potential, possibilities, and discovery—not only of our partners but of ourselves and our needs, wants, and desire"
Keep the Past in the Past
"A big mistake people make when dating someone new is to bring all of their fears, concerns, and past negative relationship experiences to their current relationship". You should be keeping your thoughts and conversations focused on the person you're currently dating and on getting to know them. Avoid interrogating your new partner about their past, too.
Don't Make Comparisons
It's easy to instantly start comparing your relationship or your partner to other relationships or partners, but it won't do you any good and it will upset your partner. Ask yourself these questions: Are you in a relationship to compete with someone else? Are you in this relationship to impress other people? Or are you in a relationship because you like the person you're dating?
Look at Actions More Than Words
"It doesn't matter if someone is talking about taking exotic trips next year if he or she is unavailable now," In this case, you want to make sure you're reading actions rather than believing every word that person says. On the flip side, when your partner introduces you to family and friends, chances are that this person sees you in their life for the long haul.
Be Vulnerable, Even if You're Afraid
"The thought of being vulnerable is a scary proposition for most people,".It's how you show your true self at the risk of being hurt. When you date someone new, showing this side can deepen your connection and build trust. "Vulnerability can be a gift to the person who's wanting to know you on a deeper level,".
Stay in the Moment
Remind yourself that being in a new relationship is a time of discovery and curiosity (and a lot is going to be new all at once). "To alleviate pressure, remind yourself to stay present and open,". And this goes for being true to yourself and trusting your gut instinct. It doesn't matter if someone is perfect on paper if they end up not being the right person for you.
Don't Give up Time With Family or Friends
In a new relationship, it's common for couples to drop some of their usual activities and cancel on friends to see their partner. "Remember that attraction is also created by the anticipation of seeing your partner and by creating some distance,". "When you always drop everything to be with your new partner, it may set the expectation that your previous commitments are secondary to who you're dating." Keep yourself busy and honor your plans with friends as you adjust your schedule in moderation.
Refrain From Being Needy
"A little bit of jealousy can be considered cute and healthy,". "But making demands on your partner of their time and restricting them from doing things they were doing before you started dating is a red flag." Experts say that it's common for couples who are newly dating to spend a lot of their free time with each other and give up some of their usual time with friends and family. However, avoid constantly texting, calling, or making demands to see your S.O. because you'll stress them out and may cause them to peddle back.
When you start dating someone new (or even if you've been together a while), it's important to make sure you always feel comfortable in the relationship and are being true to who you are. The start of a new relationship is a good time to begin laying down some ground rules with your partner (and we don’t only mean physical boundaries, either). And what about if you’re already in a relationship? Communication is key, and you should still broach the topic and have an honest conversation—no matter how long you’ve been together for a while.
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